My Latest Blog
Posted on 8:56am Saturday 9th Mar 2013
How would our lives look if nothing held us back?
Ask yourself, if you lived your life tomorrow without fear, how would it look?
Fear is a part of our daily lives but do we recognize it when it holds us back? Are we able to see when we stand back from speaking out because we’re afraid of what people will think of us? Do we hold back from celebrating our strengths and play only on our weaknesses? How do fears affect the decisions we make about our lives? Does fear stop us from enjoying every precious moment with our family and friends? Maybe we should try to see things through the eyes of a child.
What would you do tomorrow if you had no fear about:
a) your capability?
b) how people may judge you?
c) your faith that you will be successful in whatever you do, particularly if your aim is to help others and make the world a better place?
Would you encourage your children differently if you believed that:
a) they could never fail?
b) the world would always be kind to them?
c) the world would always love them like you do?
You could make a difference
We all have a special gift that could help others, and we all have the ability to make a massive difference to the world – collectively we are very powerful. To sum it up, I love the story about the person who was on the beach surrounded by a million starfish that had washed up on the shore, dying in the sun. A person came along to witness her throwing the starfish back into the sea one by one and asked how could she possibly make a difference when the entire shoreline was littered with hundreds of starfish that had been washed up? As she threw another starfish back into the water, her reply was simple but profound ‘Well, I made a difference to that one’.
Do you understand how powerful you really are?
Imagine yourself with no restrictions, fulfilling your potential, believing in yourself, being the best you can be. The World would be a truly amazing place if we all saved a starfish every day!
Love, peace and joy to you
Posted on 1:12pm Monday 11th Feb 2013
Recently I’ve been feeling a little bit disillusioned and lacking in confidence. My life plan has seemed a long way off and my motivation and faith in my own abilities has dipped.
Sometimes its hard to stay focused especially when things don’t go as we expect them to. I’ve mapped out what I really want in life but at the moment its as if it’s a million miles away. Mike Dooley, famous author and inspirational speaker, reminds us of the best way to stay focused. He encourages us not to agonise and sweat over ‘how’ our dreams will come true, just concentrate on visualising our desired end result – seeing ourselves doing those things, living in that village, running on that beach or just leading that lifestyle.
I love this quote from Winston Churchill. He defined success as ‘the ability to move from one failure to another without loss of motivation’ – this may seem like a fairly pessimistic view of life but I think Churchill was talking from experience – he wasn’t always a popular figure but he was dogmatic and kept going despite the peaks, troughs and disappointments of his political career, eventually becoming prime minister in the UK at the, not so tender age of 62.
So how do we manage to stay motivated in between our failures?
One way is to view a failure in a different light – what about viewing each and every disappointment as a learning experience? Because we do learn from everything that we do, we learn how not to do it next time, we learn how it makes us feel, and we learn what gets the best results.
Once we accept that there is no such thing as a failure, we can look at disappointments from a more balanced perspective. It’s not so easy to see this when we're stinging from the bitter blow of a new job not won or a much awaited phone call not received but when we look back, it's often easier to appreciate how maybe that particular outcome wasn’t such a bad outcome for us after all.
Another way of staying positive and motivated is to keep a journal. Before you switch off from this idea, keeping a journal of events and feelings doesn’t have to be a long winded affair, it can be as little as jotting a few words down every day – the highlight of the previous day, the lows, the highs.
How can this help me to stay positive, I hear you ask?
It’s well known fact that reflection can help shift a negative perspective into a positive one. For instance, did you realise that you were particularly down last summer and have you wondered why you were feeling that way at the time? Maybe you ticked off another small goal towards your overall life plan and can only celebrate this when you re-visit your journal. Were you asking certain questions or generally drifting without direction a month ago but now feel far more 'on track'? There may be a pattern to your emotions and spotting the link between these and significant or mundane events in your week, may help you to better understand yourself. You will only be able to see how well you’re doing now if you can reflect on when things weren't going so well - those ‘not so good’ times.
So why not decide to adopt a more emotionally resilient approach to life? Why not decide to be your number one best ally from now on and while you are doing that, keep doing something every day that gives you both pleasure and purpose…….
‘Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall’ (Confucius)
Posted on 8:48pm Friday 3rd Aug 2012
Why do we need to improve our wellbeing?
Recent statistics have shown that people who are happier, live longer. How you feel about yourself can be measured in terms of your overall wellbeing. If you value, accept and love yourself, you are more likely to understand the importance of looking after yourself and making sure that your physical as well as your mental health are both in tip top condition. Here are five simple steps to improving your well being:
love, peace and joy
Posted on 8:49pm Saturday 21st Jul 2012
A special wish of love, peace and joy to you all
Posted on 8:15pm Sunday 15th Jul 2012
How much do you allow yourself to dream about your Ideal Life?
1 What are the qualities I most admire in people that I would like to have?
I would like to be more…….
(kinder, more focused…)
What would I have to do differently to make this happen?
2 What would I like to have more of in my life?
(more fulfillment, fitness, financial security?)
What would be my first step to making this happen?
3 What have I always wanted to do?
Do I want it enough to put it on this list?
If so, how could I plan towards this dream becoming a reality?
4 What would I like to receive more of?………
From my partner…………
From my work mates……………..
From my friends……………….
From my family………………
From my children…………..
5 What would I like to give more of?…….
(time, patience, encouragement)
To my partner………………….
To my children………………..
To my friends………………
To my colleagues…………………
7 What I would like to change the most in my life?
What’s holding me back from doing this?
How can I see myself if you achieve it?
What differences will it make to my life?
What are the first steps I need to make this happen?
Find yourself wanting to move forward? Goal setting can be the best way to progress towards something you really want in life. Why not take a look at my goal setting page for more inspiration?
What have you discovered about yourself?
Do you find yourself thinking about any of these subjects?
If you answered yes to any of these, the simple process of personal coaching offers you solutions. Coaching will give you clarity and focus but most of all, the invaluable tool of gaining perspective! So often we get caught up in the headlights trying to be the best we can, do what we feel we 'should' etc and we tend to only see the situation from one narrow perspective. Find The Real Coaching works with you to help you discover a whole new way of thinking about yourself, often discovering choices that you didn’t realise you had but ultimately giving you back the power to change YOUR life!
Love, peace and joy
Posted on 9:02pm Monday 9th Jul 2012
Who are you and do you understand what makes you tick?
I’m just beginning to understand what makes me tick and how values and beliefs underpin pretty much everything we do in life.
But if we find out what our values and beliefs are, how will this make a difference in our lives?
Someone close to me finds that by understanding what her values and beliefs are, she is able to make decisions easier. Recently she was trying to decide whether to go to a church event connected to her daughter’s school but when she referred to her Values List, she then found it easy to decide. Family and spirituality were both in her top 3!
Beliefs dictate the results you get
Beliefs are so strong in influencing our success in life that they are responsible for everything we see in our lives – look around you at the home you live in, the job you have, the clothes you wear, the friends you have.
Spotting our limiting beliefs
Some beliefs aren’t really ours – they’re inherited from our parents because we soak beliefs up like a sponge when we’re children. Our sub conscious mind is full of everything we learn in the first 6 years of our lives
When we believe something is true we‘re subconsciously looking for ways to reaffirm this. So for instance, if you believe that you won’t be successful at achieving a goal, like giving up smoking, your subconscious will be looking for an opportunity to prove to yourself that you’re right!
The first opportunity you get to have a cigarette will be sending a message to your subconscious mind – ‘you were right, you predicted this and that’s why you thought it was too easy when everything was actually going well’
Try asking yourself:
How much love do you believe you deserve to receive in life?
What about how much you think you deserve to earn?
The placebo effect is a famous example of the power of our beliefs over reality: studies show that at least 30% of clinical patients report positive results after swallowing a sugar pill that they believe is genuine medication.
And in 1954 Roger Bannister ran the first four minute mile which up until then was believed by everyone to be impossible. Following his record breaking performance, 300 other runners achieved the very same thing in the following year.
So how do you identify what you value?
If you value being able to make decisions at work about how you like to structure your day….
and you work in a call centre…… you may find that you satisfaction score for your career is pretty low!
Values are not just about whether we think something is right or wrong – they are about what we value in our lives
Once we know what we value, we understand why certain things are important to us.
Think of 6 things you most value in your life and by a process of elimination, identify the top 3
For instance say your top 6 are:
To find your top 3 ask yourself:
Do I value financial freedom over lots of leisure time?
Do I value quality time with the family more than a fulfilling job?
Keep doing this until you end up with your Top 3 Values List.
This is who I am
Try writing a list of ‘ I Am’s’ and see how it feels
Avoid labelling yourself – ‘ I am a mother, I am a secretary etc’
I am caring and supportive
I am intuitive and open to messages from the Universe
I am always looking for the best in every situation
I am a successful writer and coach
This exercise helps us to be more self compassionate, supportive towards ourselves and of course, more forgiving.
Your Values list acts as a road map to focus you on the direction you want to go towards.
So why not, create your map, check in with who you really are, buckle up and enjoy life’s journey!!
Happy driving everyone